Archive - Calm Down

These Kids At Columbia? They're Bad. How Bad? Almost 6,000 Words Bad.

Bag 'em, tag 'em, and ship these dumbasses to Poland.

20 mins ago •

Nuclear War: A Thing That Would Be Bad

Apr 10 •

March 2024

Let's do it. Let's ban TikTok.

We're young, free, and alive—in the West! We can live how we please!

Mar 29 •

The Film INDEPENDENCE DAY Contains A Dishonest Lie

But is it the filmmakers' fault?

Mar 24 •

Bruce Willis Is Great. Here Is A Funny Story About Bruce Willis.

Well, it's sort of about him.

Mar 20 •

Wow, You Guys Really Like Posts Making Fun Of The West Wing. OK, Here's Another One.

Well, some of it is about the West Wing.

Mar 19 •

Demi Moore Is Great. Here Is A Funny Story About Demi Moore.

The first entry in a new series about nice celebrities.

Mar 17 •

The West Wing Is The Dumbest Show In The Entire World. Here Are 5,000 Words About One Classic Episode.

Read to the bottom for a fun chance to win $100.

Mar 17 •

February 2024

JOB LISTING: EDITORIAL ASSISTANT

Calm Down is hiring!

Feb 28 •

The New York Times Has A Slack Emoji Problem

Read to the end for a story about Mother Jones race relations on Slack.

Feb 27 •

A Letter To Wil Wheaton About Elmo

Elmo got beat up. Wil Wheaton had a tantrum. I have some thoughts.

Feb 16 •

Democrats Need To Take A Pill And Calm Down

Biden is losing right now. The special counsel report is bad. But the bomb can be defused.

Feb 9 •

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