Everyone who is mad about this Chris Pratt thing has brain worms
A rant
Chris Pratt is married to Katherine Schwarzenegger. It’s her birthday in a few weeks. He posted a nice little Instagram post about how much he loves his wife.
Guys. For real. Look how she’s looking at me! I mean. Find you somebody that looks at you like that!! You know!? We met in church. She’s given me an amazing life, a gorgeous healthy daughter, she chews so loudly that sometimes i put in my ear buds to drown it out, but that’s love! She helps me with everything. In return, periodically, I open a jar of pickles. That’s the trade. Her heart is pure and it belongs to me. My greatest treasure right next to my Ken Griffey Jr Upper Deck Rookie card. Which if you know, you know is saying a lot. It’s her birthday in about 6 weeks. So if I don’t get her anything, I’ll tell her to look back on this post. Love you honey. ❤️❤️
Sweet, right? NO. He is a monster.
What? How is he a monster? Well, dumdum, you clearly don’t have your outrage decoder ring on.
Chris Pratt used to be married to Anna Faris. They have a son together. That son was born with disabilities.
Get it now?
No? Still don’t?
PULL YOUR HEAD OUT OF THE SAND.
Chris Pratt wrote on his Instagram post that he was happy his new wife gave him a “gorgeous healthy daughter” which according to the addled minds of the internet was a criticism of his ex-wife Anna Faris, with whom he shared an unhealthy baby.
Everyone mad about this has brain worms.
I was born disabled but my two siblings were born able-bodied and when my younger brother was born people inside my family and out called him a “healthy baby,” because, well, he was and that’s a term people use when they describe their babies who are healthy!
It had nothing to do with me. It wasn’t a criticism of me. It wasn’t a criticism of my mother. It wasn’t people telling my mother that she did a better job the third time than the second. It’s just a thing people say.
If you want to be crazy and believe that no one ever just says something without it being vetted by their personal legal department, that’s your right, but this is a common thing on the internet. Twitter is a place where Occam doesn’t have a razor and if he did, he’d be planning something devious with it.
Which is more likely: that the husband wrote a nice post about his wife and used a common term to describe his new baby or that the devious sociopath intentionally ridiculed his disabled son just to hurt his ex-wife?
It is technically possible that the second one is true. It is technically possible that Chris Pratt is a serial killer too. It’s technically possible that he is responsible for dozens of unaccounted missing persons across the midwest. Is it likely? No.
So this would seem like just another instance of a bunch of dumb internet sleuths drumming up drama because they have internet poisoning, which, fine. But actually, it’s worse than that!
The people causing headlines about this are actually causing harm. Because it’s not just about Chris Pratt and Anna Faris. There’s are other characters in this play. One of them is their son! They have spun this almost certainly innocent and clumsy word usage into headlines that tell this man’s son that his father hates him. They have told this boy that the father loves his half-sister more and that he should always be resentful to her of that. They did that.
Chris Pratt might be a terrible father. He might be a good father. I have no idea. Neither do you. Neither do any of the people writing about this online.
I would imagine that Chris Pratt probably regrets this word usage now that it has led to people telling his son that he hates him and his ex-wife that he must want her to feel terrible.
Now some people will say “well, whether he meant it or not, his intentions don’t matter and it was still a bad thing to say,” and to that, I say, go fuck yourself. Unless you are Anna Faris or their son, it is none of your goddammed business to tell them how to interpret misspeaking.
This is going into someone’s house and saying “hey did you see this thing? Did you know you should be offended by it? Even if it was not intentional, you should be offended? Has it occurred to your son that maybe his father loves his daughter more because she isn’t disabled?”
Maybe you think I’m being unfair here to clown town pigs drumming this up, but I’m not! My entire childhood people would bring xeroxed copies of new stories about my parents’ divorce or my father’s drug problems or the People Magazine story about how I had no friends in preschool because I had one eye and show them to me not intentionally to hurt me, but because they wanted to be a part of the story. They wanted to say “oh, 1st grader, I can’t believe your dad cheated on your mom” or whatever. But just leave people alone? Mind your own business?
I’m sure Anna Faris has Chris Pratt’s phone number and would text him if she wanted to.
This is where the morality cosplay and toxic fandom of social media come together to really just cause pain for people for no reason whatsoever.
The residents of Outrageville are the villains of this story.
They should feel bad. They should have to pay this kid’s therapy bills.
What if I'm not mad about the "healthy baby" part of the post, but I don't like the rest of it where he perpetuates an annoying and toxic trope of the perfect woman who is valued as a possession and the idiot man who can't/doesn't do anything right including remember his perfect wife's birthday? I get that the post is meant to be sweet and even see how it's cute and funny. And I love Chris Pratt. But I did not love this post.
Thank you. That is it. Just Thank you.